Hey all you lovely people,
It’s definitely been a hot minute since I’ve posted. Life has had me so busy. I’m not sure about all you but my life could pass as a reality show, it never slows down and something intresting is always happening. No seriously, I don’t think you would actually believe everything that goes on in my life.
Kutos to all the mamas and women who live and breathe blogging, all other social platforms and having a life. I’m not getting paid for it so I’m not gonna try to juggle so hard, but as much as I do already is a lot to keep up with. I’m not really sure how they do it, but good for them, I applaud all of you.
So this weekend was quite eventful. It started on the Thursday for my family and myself. I was supposed to attend a training for the Lime Light by Alcone Palooza. I brought the hubs and we left our kiddos (for the first time) to say with their grandparents till Sunday.
Leaving them for the first time over night(s) was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do as a parent.I’m sure other parents would have said the same) it’s not like they were down the road or anything. They would be 5 hrs away for like 4 Days. I made sure to have a full face of makeup on so I wouldn’t cry the moment they left me. Now I had watery eyes the entire time but only one tear fell, so I think I handled it pretty well, if I do say so mself. I felt a whirl of emotions, but mostly heartbreak. I knew they’d have fun and be okay, it was probably harder on me than any of them, but still hurt. Though, I won’t lie it was refreshing to have just my husband to myself, to go and do things just us like old times.
It was nice just being able to go into places and not take an hour to get a few things; I’d normally be getting everyone out, chasing kids, trying to focus and find what I need, handling meltdowns, getting completely side tracked, forgetting what I came for and getting everyone loaded back up. Its a job itself. So to go in and get out so quick was quit nice.
Like I mentioned earlier, I was supposed to be at Palooza Friday and Saturday. Though, I only made registration on Thursday night. Most of you probably dont know I have some anxiety problems. No, I dont take anything, no I haven’t been actually diagnosed but I know what a panic attack is.
The first day, just getting to Austin for the event and being in the city made me super uncomfortable. I grew up in the suburbs of Dallas but since moving away I don’t exactly enjoy being back around loads of people. So after 10 minutes of looking for parking and walking how ever many blocks just to get to the hotel where this was taking place, then people everywhere already had my nerves on alert.
I don’t exactly know why I stress out and get so nervous but after my first episode back in 2012, it was so bad (story for another time), haven’t had one like it since but definitely not been the same since. I’ve really become more conservative, more of a loner and not good with large groups of people weather I know them or not. I get nervous/ anxious, just can’t handle it like I used too.
Thursday night it started to happen. I was having a nice time with my husband, we had registered and found our hotel, dropped everything off, were now getting dinner. It was getting harder to breathe, my heart was pounding and my chest was starting to hurt. The anxiety was back. I can guarantee it was the city and first time being away from my babies like this.
Friday morning, I woke up fine but when Brandon and I went to breakfast and it was back. So I decided I would not attend my classes and just spend the day relaxing with the hubby. We shopped, went sight seeing and saw a movie. Also just bout got shot on our way to the hotel. There was lots of construction in front of the hotel and some idiot kid trying to cut everyone else waved and point his gun as he passed, as if that was a good enough reason to cut everyone off. I bet he would have made his mom so proud… not. For one of the most liberal city’s, this was a tad bit shocking, sure I’d expect this behavior in Monroe buy not Austin….Dangerous and Rude.
Anyways, as we got to our hotel Brandon and I were a tad shook up and angry about this encounter still. Saturday came about and we decided to just go ahead and make the 2 hr drive to Sea World to let lose and have fun, not to mention it has been about 5+ years since we had enjoyed a good roller coaster. It had been a long time since either one of us had been there.
I didn’t make the palooza but I don’t feel I missed out on all that much. I got to spend so much needed alone time with my husband just us two and I’m very thankful for that. We got to strengthed our relationship and bond making memories, having him around helped take some anxiety away. I believe if he wouldn’t have came with me I would have been a miserable mess.
Our boys of course had fun with the Grands and I guess they were excited to see us but maybe a little mad too, BC neither one of them acted too excited to be reunited. Lol Branton actually tried to go back to his B-paw before we left.
Things are still a little crazy due to the moving process, but I’m hoping within a month things will maybe calm down a bit.